Most Wonderful ---

If I had to or could I - imagine or remember -

If I was trying to follow that light, then/now - or imagine -

A beauty or a wonder - in the smile -

or the movements - or moments

or the happiness - that is experienced - in those moments.

As if it was so big - So big that it would fill everything ....

So, I asked for too much perfection - could I regret it, then ?

Or ever feel or think that I could experience it ?

To be that happy - Unable to imagine it, but to remember it ?

So then how much gratitude would one feel after that ...

That there could be real words to express it --- but know

that there are ....

And to dare to know that the beauty and the wonder

and the brightness and that light are real.

You want to tell me if this is what love is like,

Found and not lost - lost and not found ....

Content - without fear and afraid.

Without want or desire - but to

desire and want.

Complete - unbroken - and dashed upon the rocks

The forever shore - of the unending sea.

At the very end, at the very beginning.

love

Well, there was some noble minds -
busy and diligent trying to figure out
how much love there actually is ...

And they found that :

You can buy it in stores -
in bottles and cans and boxes -
And they have it in natural form as well.

They determined that there is high
concentrations of love in water -
sometimes 99.9 % - and of course it
will get mixed into the snow -
You can find it in the street or on the beach.
You can breath it in the air - will no ill affect.
You can dig big holes or small holes and find
it in the ground.

Trees are said to contain it in large quantities
as well as rocks and stones.

You find it in the big city - and in the small town.
Then it is in star light and clouds.

It's in clothes and books - it's in vibrations of
musical instruments. It's in dances and songs
and if that wasn't bad enough - people are out
there making it all the time. And then love
lingers so that sometimes it is just as
fresh after years and years and you can
sometimes even feel love from the future.

So you can see a bit of the difficulty these noble
minds were having trying to figure out just
how much there actually is of the stuff.

And then they had a few questions -
Like, if there is so much of it - where
does it go when it disappears ? This
was a really hard question.

Their next big question was - if it
is so readily available - and there is
such a great supply - and when people
use it and have it - it makes them
feel better and it makes those that are
around them feel better - why don't
people use it more ????

These are such wonderful questions -
and so hard to find answers to.

battle of good and evil

In the big battle of good and evil - we have
good guys fighting bad guys and we assume
in the end that the good guys win because ....

Well, we just like to think that the good guys
win.

In the little battle of good and evil which is
going on constantly - it's all inside of us -
each one - and who wins??? We'd like
to think that we win - good or evil .....

So the guestion is - is it the fighting or
the winning or the good or the evil ? When
the fighting is gone where is the good and
where is the evil? How do we tell them
apart so easily? What if we never fight
is there still a good or evil? Is it just
about what we want and when we don't have
that we decide to fight and what prevents
us from getting what we want becomes evil ?
--- or is it -- Sketches of China --

" It ain't want you want - it's want you need. "


I guess .... I surely don't know ...

grief in my joy

Was motion in my stillness,

Some wetness in my eyes ...

What colors are revealed then ...

Now .

wind & the water

And the wind laughed ....

The water called out -

" please, come to me, make the waves .. "

he pleaded ....

And the wind laughed back ....

She said, " why are you so silly ?? "

" because, you think you only need me ???

and you are so jealous of the trees and their

leaves as I rustle them, and you think I have

forgotten all about you, don't you ....

You think all I need to do is make your silly waves ----

You forget so much - You forget that the moon touches

you still and you forget that I need you, too ...

I need your moisture to make the clouds that I

love to float and play with ... And I do love the sound

which the waves make, too. You think that you

are so alone ... and you don't see that I am always with

you, just as you are with me ???? But why do you

prefer me to the earth or the heavens or the stars ??? "

The water lay still, the winds thoughts filled him with

awe - and it was true that the water loved the wind and

felt incomplete --- yet it was true as she had spoken that

she was always with him. And she could make him laugh,

and she could calm his rage - or create it if she chose ...

and he felt embarrassed by his jealousy and her understanding.

" Oh, just go now , you old fool " she said ----

" Follow the old course of the river - and feel the mud ---

and the branches that I've swept away for you. You

know I forgive you - even when you are senseless -

because I can. "

So the water followed that course - he was content as she

spoke ...

heaven & the wind

wish I could be sure - heaven spoke -

and only I can hear you - said the wind ...

And they might wish - that was so long - for- ever

And the wind could hear and understand -

And heaven spoke with her ...

Like in a - day & a night -

That Atlantis would fall ?????

Because - they never can be seperated ...

And hear you ...

Moonshadow....

To behold the wandering moon,
Riding near her highest noon,
Like one that had been led astray
Through the heavens' wide pathless way



-Milton.Devil Moon, Moonshadow....

Above from Sarfatti - group - 1/17 - 317

As the moon is near,
And the light today
As well -

All things that I consider I am.

And colors - and richness - and poverty ....

And needs and wants and desires ....

And looking and seeing and feeling ....

Being happy and being sad ....

Resolute or fading ....

Looking up ---

Having remorse ...

Feeling alone & and feeling together ...

Experiencing joy, then bliss ...

Awakening and sleeping ...

Standing and sitting - then lying down ...

Touching and being touched ...

And counting - the stars and their movements -

The motion and movement of all thing - together -

Being locked in the ice ...

Feeling the fire - inseperable ...

Breathing the air

And feeling the wind ----

Feeling love I am .

she wanted to know

She wanted to know and I was afraid to answer.
I thought I knew the answer, in a way.

" you love it " was the question - and yes.

" but do you know what it is ? "

I quess that was the question - and what was my answer ...

Well, I guess I was thinking - it's just a bit of a theory .. sort of
a weird - transendental thought maybe . Was it weird, twisted,
or just made up on the spot - for luck or what have you.

I was thinking more about it though - the revolving / rotating
dynamics of love, sex, money, power, control.

You sure can make up a lot from that - can't you ---
Pistons grabbing the air, sheer forces, pitching and biting
at the surfaces. Grabbing the air.

Calm down.

I looked out. It was a clear day. Calmly then - what is the answer?
Wasn't it something about knowing and existing? Existing for
a reason - because of some one, for some one - or doing something for
a reason - for some one. I know, I exist, for a reason, for some one.

I looked out and I thought some more -
I could fight for it - like fighting for the air -
about I want. I want it.

" It you say --- and you say it so calmly. "

" And who has it ? "

Well, the it keeps getting passed back and forth ...

Does the buck - stop here ? You think you can pin point it?

" Not routinely. ", as I thought - " but, sometimes. "

" The buck will stop, I am sure when it's damn and
ready to. I guess that's truly all I know for sure. "

" Oh, okay then - you can get away with this crap for now" - as
if it were the 80's , " but sooner or latter , Mr. Smarty Pants
the buck will catch up to you - and I'll laugh then, just because I can,
and just because it want to. "

" Yes, " , I said " I know. "

And it all goes back again, rotating on the wheel of
sex, love, money, power, and control. Maybe it's
just good and bad.

Doesn't that make you dizzy ????
Some days yes and some days no.

It's a key. The key fits into the lock.
The lock opens - wazaam -
Somebody - shuts the lock and you
go through it all again.

Wazaam...

And if that doesn't work - well -
just sit there and try and think of a better way.

It seems then - like on most days, it all gets pushed back
to why. Because. Why? - because. Because - be why.

Mysterious. Because, I thought I knew.