all the little things

Suspect subject -

lights and dancing dots -

on a strange - impromptu stage -

following patterns - to hot or cold -

to touch - the past and future merging -

in the play - of touch and sight and sound -

soon and latter - appearing - as is - to be.

becoming now....later. Stars seem to collide.

Burning, here.

So gracious, gratefully -

Immeasurable

I measured your said,

it was immeasurable, so pleasurable

and I think of you

with so much joy

so much gratitude -

it will not allow any sadness ...

but ( you let me ) be sad ...

and I loved you then and now

more - craved more - longed for more

of your wonder of your specialness ---

uniqueness ----

that I ran out of adjectives -

but rare, magnificent beauty will do.

Ode to a Lamppost IV

Besides, before and between,

glowing light ..

at that spot ...

in that moment ...

Sacred ????

Frightened ????

Portending ...

time, out of time, in time, just in time ...

"It's been a long time" ...

I knew the thought ...

to care ...

The light did shine then ...

variable, fluxating, fixed, in between

saddness and great joy ...

I knew ...

and felt ...

the lamp post gleaned then

smiling ...

old and wooden and there

near the shore ...

of a forbidden

but immediate sea ...

smiling ...

Another just Bolshevic Winter

and stop me if it's too warm

near Moscow

the Danube ..

tommorow

it's too late ..

moon light

and

the fantasy

-- The Idiot --

then

They told me not to tell

About the macro-quantum wave -

Building on the cosmic quantum sea -

at a loss - or gain

to afford - to begin - to end

for all

to see!

so I did?/?see...

and that moment

Love essence - caring ---

a world and world apart

toghether

always -

a touch

I new

I felt

you

gratefully

love more impossibly

remembering

you

Darkness - Dawn

--- The dawn breaks - sometimes quietly ---

sometimes with splendor and sometimes un-noticably.

The dawn - a mercy - or curse - forgiving - or

merciless.

And before dawn ?????


In the night - the deepness - the dark - the

unknown - the fear, creating the longing -

the need and desire - for that light, that hope.

In the daylight we just forget. Times goes on.

And my night - deep and exotic - intense and forboding -

Will it find a dawn ???

Candy in the window - shipwrecked on the shore

Daylight -

breaking in shards of grey -

so that there can be hope -

if dimmly percieved - possibility --

in light -

that flows ---

a hope now -

that a tommorow will arrive -

that love will be -

that there is light ...

now

Cosmic Fire

Burning - through -

flesh and bone -

disgusting mash -

of the Real Forming -

in front of your face -

demanding that you know -

you precieve - dimmly or intensely -

only that -

one or many -

clearly or obscurely -

all living things and all created things

are INTIMATELY connected - now

in the past -

and yet to be revealed -

through time

always

my foot - in the can of worms

very clearly - where am I ????

located neutron/neural composite sheet -

green skin, open beer can, apoplexy -

orange variable airs into bacon grist -----

lighting oven for prosterity -----


of oh sure

the background micro-wave / has to know that

a broken can opener - and an onion can do ....

to Higgs ???????????/


blantantly false accusations that are related to

my hinny, my hinny ---------

I've lost it all now .....

some thither and Thither in thin eyes that meet

the dawn is breaking and I'm sure that

somewhere in the ionoh tropo - okay it doesn't matter

field ----

a touch - some laughter - and it doesn't matter ---


the Matter - at all - the fool scrilly crys into the

night - the pain of existence streaming from his mind

like orange dots --- on a July afternoon --- all forgott ----


wait for that

in the morning -

and gone ....

for now - in love/lost paralized versions of forever, he/she which
would see/feel know/forget mostly now ---

okay - by you ...

need to see ...

the fog

Yes - I am deep in the deepest fog -

and I know or at least suspect there is

a world out there - and I do or at least

suspect I am connected to it some way -

the way of a ninga turtle perhaps ----

I have memories you know - although all

my emotions have been jammed -

Like bones and brains breaking and ---

the poor ninga turtle smashed ---

God - it is good to look at the light -

now and then...

Mercy - yes it is there - quite amazing...

Now and then....

Amazing ...

Mercy ...

Go home - now and stay there ...

I was looking for God - through
that crusty lens of time - I was sure
he was out there - in the mud or sitting
by the pool - listening to the birds or
just forgetting about it all -

Just to beg for mercy - that's all I was
looking for from him/her - from that busy
place - where I needed it and he/her had
it.

Sure enough I got what I came for - but
couldn't get a fix on the location only
that - the question remained - was it
the good or the bad - or was it just
the need to feel forgiven - so the pain
would go away? The memory fades or
returns. I forget what. Happy to be here
now and happy for that thought.

Pretty much gone now

I'm pretty much gone now,

There is very little left of whatever there was

And I have no idea if there will ever been any - thing -

again ...

of what there was or what there might be.

but I was.

Peace and War or The other side of the coin

You know I always think that -----

Lurching forward on the highway of the Universe ....

As if there was some explaination for all the the things

that we assume are complex.

You know why we can distinguish between peace and war.

There is only one way to discuss these things - like harmony

and balance or like truth and courtesy and honesty ---

But most of all justice. When all these forces are commingled and

in a reason balance we are all assured of peace - but also there

will be war inside of us .... and so - sometimes it will take place

outside of us....But yet peace will still be there as well inside of

us ---- that is why .....

terror and war

To simply state only one force and effect fear or greed.

If terror is excessive fear then only love can effect it, in

any way. To reduce terror means to love. Is there

enough love? - There is always enought love. It is a matter

of kindness, gentleness, courtesy and honesty and these things

are always available and it is possible to me more kind and more

honest in every moment.

People do disagree. They disagree with each other and they

disagree with themselves. But people also agree. And always

it is possible to find more ways to agree. We all can see the truth.

To agree we must respect and respond. We can find this in our

hearts and in our minds no matter how far away we are.

The game ----

The game is about honesty, and the game is

about gentleness, and the game is about forgiveness

And the game is about being one with who we are and

where we are and the game is about finding truth

and finding answers and knowing each other and

all with whom we are with and all those who are

around us and see us. And it is about caring for

those who we are with and for being there for them.

If we can play this game we are part of life.

ONe hard part of the game is to truly be, where we

are, if we are late or far or happy or sad where we are.

right and wrong

Survival - instinct - preservation -

the decisions we make and the mistakes we make.

And facing extinction - or being lost - not knowing

the way - we might be filled with fear - knowing that

fear - feeling betrayed by ourselve -

And then I would argue - was it me all along -

that was sure - or just didn't know -

And the fear builds and trusting - trusting in

the consistancy of the past - or believing in some

kind of mercy - or forgiveness - somehow - somewhere.

Anger and regret and pain and illusion.

Can we find our way - believing in some salvation -

is there a path there? Now - today ?

Did I betray myself - my believe - all that I hold true

and dear - did I lie?

Today I have no answers - I know that I did believe

and I did try. And finally I tried to love.

Subject - bus stop

--- Waiting ----

At a bus stop where the buses do not go ....

Being there and waiting and watching -

As the bench and metal and concrete and me

Slowly and microscopically dissolve -

into the swirl of absence.

Vision of loveliness

Hard on the mind, to comprehend what has
been experienced - when felt and lived again
and knowing that - was it really as has been seen
and felt and remembered and I wished - wrongly
received humbly - and it was right !!!!!! You say
for me to believe and then accept - and is so hard.
Always to remain hopefully in that way.

"They can be used for presentation."
The two bowls must have their times;
reducing hardness and increasing
softness must have their times;
reduction and increase,
filling and emptying,
go along with the time.

Fire and Games

---------

Sometimes I must wonder on account of what is the fire and what is

the game??? The thoughts - the feeling and the heat - on any particular

day or moon-lite night. As we watch the fire in the dark nights sky or

in our hearts and in our homes - together or seperately - and then stop

and say --- " what is the game and what is the fire ?? " The fire from

here to there - the fire that just is - and then the light.

----------------

Water and Thunder

Time and space and reaching out and wishing and

hoping and believing and trusting --- trying to

let it all hang out .... The fortunate and the longing

the deceived and deceiver or simple rules - to follow

or obey. And feeling close but a million miles away -

the one feeling that is hard to describe - that you can't

any way --- but you only want to come back ----

From there ..... or simple rules to follow - so you

can find the meanings of the words --- they say --

making love ----- or mixtures ------ is love


-------------------------------------------------

The image: thunder and rain --- solution.
Thus do leaders forgive errors and pardon crimes.

-------------------------------------------------

Gradually

Gradually there is joy ------

it is beneficial to make ceremonial offerings because
one receives blessings.

Exhaustion

When the exhausted mind balances its thoughts, this is actually the way to come
through successfully.

If one does not practice real virtue and
only and only has empty talk, this will surely not be enough to win confidence.

Upright great people are forunate, because their strenght is in balance.

Heaven

Interpreting the six lines of Heaven in terms of Buddhism, a
dragon is something that has spiritual capacity and adaptive
creativity --- a metaphor for the buddha-nature.

In the stage where one practices mediations to buddha-nautre, one should
continuously direct one's vitality to advancing in this exercise, so one
"works by day and is wary at night."

In the stage where one conforms to buddha-nature, one does not hold
religious attachment, an imitative path, ans do one "may leap in the abyss."

Speaking solely in terms of cultivating inner qualities, yang is the
quality of knowledge; this is the practice of insight. The infertile insight
of beginners needs concentration to balance it --- it should not be used
alone.

---------------------------------------------------------------
At the peak, the characteristics of knowledge and insight
connot be apprehended, cannot be grasped.
----------------------------------------------------------------

At the peak, the dragon has regret.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Earth

At the peak, it is because intellect has concentration that one knows to regret.
In battle, when concentration lacks wisdom, the path comes to an impasse.

Now if we concider Heaven to be the main practices and Earth the auxiliary
practices, the the six line os Earth represent the six ways of transcendence.

Giving is like treading on ice; mastery of this can being on "ice," which represents
celestial qualities.

Wisdom

Of all the virtues wisdom seems to be the most

difficult ... The first thing to understand is how

does wisdom differ from love. Well, for me this

is a difficult question to answer because I've

watched it more than I've used it. But it is the focus

of a moment and love is a continuous process ...

It is a hard thing to understand - especially in relationship

to the idea of beauty into which it is woven.

the presence of the rose

in the presense of the rose-

the leave and the petals and the stems -

the thorns and the odor -

that lingers and mingles -

alive ...

the angles which radiate out ...

and radiate in ...

small circles - that go on ...

large circles - encompass them ...

and us ...

being that crazy ...

Awesomeness

What I can't deny - or hide but feel -

Experience wonder and regret -

Being satisfied - exhilerated -

Seeing that light - in everything -

And I feel - always feel - without regret -

For that - moment - all the moments -

----------------------------------------

oh - yes - like the reasons for
everything and everyone

----------------------------------------

grateful.....

-----------------------------------------

for you ...

-----------------------------------------

regular shadows

The woman in the golden dress - from -

the glass-bead game - symbol of all

that is - the answers - the questions - the

murkiness - the shadows - the endings -

the truth -

And so are the shadows - the breaking the

becoming - so is timelessness - and if I could

know ????

Only in the shadows does time really tell -

because - why are the shadows - they don't

know - were they told ????????? Did they

ask - and if they were not certain why was

it like that ???????

I never spoke with the woman in the golden

dress ... Not that time - And I guess I was sorry

- I should be sorry about it .... It should have

been easy - it should have been nice - it should

have been .... but from behind a block of ice ---

no one knows.

focus

Glass eyed men - who stare

through the rain - looking for

questions or remarks that have

never been said -----

then eating tuna fish from buckets

forever ....

-----------------------------------------

they are looking for the light in the

tunnel ---- the excape route - through

infinity - just one quarter turn -

rotating grimmly I ask ---

okay ??????????

Like fire and like ice ....

like water and thunder ....

like water and wind .....





" when your lost in the rain

Juarz and it's Easter time tooo -

And your gravity fails and negitivity

won't bring you through .... "

Bob Dylan


----------------------------------------

If high way 61 is blowing in the wind

----------------------------------------

In remoter circuits -

Intimacy, eroticism or angles

-------

Looking back at a given moment or forward to

the next - when the option is available to look forward

to that moment --- but say at a given moment ----

what is in it -- the sound and texture, the colors ---

the emotions .....

--------

and I just keep thinking to myself -----

--------


How does a Jedi sharpen his light sabre ????

--------

It's not a joke ........

It is a joke ........

--------

stuck in the middle --- on the floor ---

holding a candle

----- against the rain ----

and the wind

--------

crys ..

--------

while the rain

never stops

---------

--------

Everthing that is

Everthing that is - is for a reason ....

Anyway - that would imply that everthing
that is not is not for some reason ....

Now just add the reasons for everthing that
is and everthing that is not and tell me
how many reason is that ????

10,000 ?????

Initiative and love

-------------

So let's just assume that love is the ultimate force
in the universe or galaxy or just in some 12x12 container.

Would love then stretch like a pole from one point to the
next ???

--------------

Is there a horizon ?

Is there an end ?

---------------

In this world or out of it ?

---------------

And if this where the last moment

What would there be to say ?

--------------

Alternatives

-----mystery, randomness, all that murkiness ---------

-------- You know what is just standing over

to the left and just behind the universe ????
-------------------------------------------------

A puzzling question

------

So suppose the universe is this wide ----

Now suddenly the universe gets bigger ----

Now - does it necessarily follow that the

universe - would choose or maybe - just

actually get smaller - in another part ( ???? )

For me this is perplexing ?????????????

And I think that the reason is that - I imagine

that within all the change - which is continously -

and mysteriously happening at ever moment - that

- there sould be a moment of coherence - where

all the dots should line up - ---- like really ????

Simple to think ...

WHAT EXACTLY IT IS

What exactly it is ...

A place - a time -

a motion - or change -

a beginning or end -

a direction - a question

being here or there -

it's just the wind -

the sound ...

and the birds ...

Confrontation

And so, my thought was that about confrontation -

and the big issue of defeat - everything in which

engages to this concept is about not be defeated

by your enemy - there is almost no other way

to describe that concept - but look - really -

--- the enemy ???? ---

We are all designed with this in mind - after all

our enemy can only be something reflected from ourselves.

Another kind of way of expressing our being

- after all -

it's economical to design it that way.

Believing

As it was ....

In the desert sands ...

the shades of the moons - as they slowly - so slowly -

began to move - in their intangential motion -

as if they should know ...

the light

reaching beyond knowing ...

as they are touched ...

--- and in the distant streets ---

beyond the haze of dought - or donuts -

--- you hear them speak ---

--- all alone or becoming ---

or all silent - running through the night ...

waiting for the daylight to begin again ...

they said --- as all I can feel .

He did.

nurse me if you dare

find me in the shadow or the light
there.
a laugh ???
a sigh ???
the pain of new creation
aborted.

In the intertwining of the light

there is no light ...

it is just obscured ...

after all ...

but it is light ...

so ?

i am just crazy after all

it's an artifice -
a broken silence -
a corpse in the hallway -
shadowed ...
and just then it was becoming obscure -
to know ...
broken in the winding sunlight ...
the shadow - she said ...

Slowly

Slowly, slowly
is it you - or an image of
you - blurred by the moon -
have I lost then --
or is it near then that I seek -
in the absence of night or night -
or how deep is the night -
obscurred by silence -
I heard.
No, I am sure - as I felt it ...
Passing by or gazing up - into
Paradise then ??? or then ???

And so I asked ....

And so I asked. I had to ask because it is difficult
and difficult to know for sure - but could the love
I feel and experience be more real than "reality" ?

And it's not easy to answer, and I guess I can think
what I think, but can I know?

Answering myself I know that it seems more real
to me right now. This love feels like a sharp knife
which cuts through both myself and the image of
reality that appears to my mind, both stronger
and more well formed. I am captivated by it and
bond by its mysteriousness. I am surrounded and
engulfed, emeshed and entwined.

So I look and search and feel. I don't know if I
can find an answer which is for sure or if one
will appear.

And so yesterday and today and tommorrow go on.

clarity and the sirens of titan

" Only the sun knows what we really need to know,

Only the sun knows the secret ...

And more than humans can believe ...

For humans do delight - in this planetary circle ... "


Jefferson Starship - Blows against the empire ....


And so we are happy to find some clarity in life

And we are happy to see : http://www.ocetiwakan.org

Persistance of light ...

Does light persist in time ????

Of course - it persists in both the light

that travels between the stars and the light

that becomes stationary ....

Now --- by certain standards it might seem

outrageous to imagine that light exists in a stationary

state - and in that state is all around us ---

But I can be outrageous sometimes...

But what is more important is the consequences of the

logic that relates light and time.

It is almost like - the water and the wind.

Imagine ...

" Imagine all the people, living life as one .... "


I'm pretty sure John Lennon said that ... and if I take

some time I'm sure I can find some things John Lennon

said ... But - imagine ... Funny, that it's not so easy to

remember - but fortunately - cause of a math book - I

can say - this ....

" You know it ain't easy, you know how hard it can be. "

- John Lennon & Paul McCartney -

So it get's back to imagine - remember ...

And the big question the - big can of worms ....

Science & the imagination ... Is it art ????

Is it the story of the future - being painted in

the present and if time has a shape ... If time

like space can be - charted or in some sense -

experienced the way taking a drive from Cinncinati

to Las Vegas might be experienced - then what is

space in relationship to it ?????

You know that ain't easy because ---- to visualize the

relationship between time and space - in your mind -

is very much like eating apples and standing on your

head ... Two things which have no form and are not

visible but encompass everything ... Fill our minds

and fill ... that's what they do is fill. And then you ask

how can you pull them apart ???

Lost in the shapes

Everything has a surface pretty much. Does the wind have a surface, too ?


How do you seperate the wind from the water. How they move apart or how

they move together - or how different do they appear - in the day or in the night.

Does the one move quickly or too slow. Is it just the sight of it - two thing separate -

different, but identical. It must be how they moved in time. Could time in fact

be trusted with their identity?

So look in the BIG - crystal ball. Is there one single answer or is it just round

and shiny and looks good. So tell me then - my friend - what looks bad? You have

to move it out and then in and the water combines then with the wind and produces

steam.... or did it just seem that way on the surfaces. Do you think it had control on

time ???? Just wait a minute - which way did that go.

Everything has a surface more or less... Some surfaces are shiny and some

are flat. Some surfaces are slippery - all the time... Some are wet - and that's

how we thanked the stars.... The words that seem to slip of from where they

were going until - what was it that they could find...

The wind - brushing the trees.... The water passing through the earth into the

trees - and the stars then shine down between the leaves and what do the leaves

then feel about the surface of time, the stars, the wind, or the water.

The wind was twisting and turning - oh gosh - as the water went splashing

by - splashing into --- Is it the invisiblity - the ambiquity - the uncertainly -

the feeling of being lost - or in the shadows - being blamed in some uncertain

or thoughtless way - or just the fear - just the hunger - just the sadness - just

the wickedness - just the meanness - just the madness. Was time ? Is it a

circle - being lost for - being lost with - searching and finding - and know

certainty - knowing pleasure - knowing something .... the anonynous -


Some time - much latter or much before the anonymous caller had

met her at a party. It was all very - enormously wonderful. It was the

attachment to the color of the sky so easy to forget and the wonderfulness

of the moment - because there was no fear of losing it. Losing it or finding

it -- everybody then was looking. Never quite sure - you know somebody.

Was it just that smell ???

Changes ---

You have to think about this in relation to time ....

Events have a begginning - and an extension.

Rarely or never do events just occurs and go away.

When they do of course we would call them brief,

a moment.


So the events have durations and in the end the out comes

of events have a lot to do with how they are ended and how

they interact with ---- that great source of consternation ---

--- time ---.....

Joy

From the Buddhist I Ching ----

16. Joy - earth below - thunder above

Being the source of joy there is great gain.
Do not doudt. Camponions gather.

More

-- : More - than the greatest love the word has know :--


-----------------------------------------------------------

Every day I hope more and more that the
divine symphony - is laced with hope and
humor - about what being human and
loving that condition is truly all about ....

-----------------------------------------------------------

What is life ???

Is it the people - we see,
Is it the conversations we have ??

Is it the earth traveling through space ???
Or the moon sailing bye ???

Is it the words - when we're all alone and
no one is there ?

Is it what happens after death ???
Is it music and laughter than keeps going on ???

Is it feelings,
of disappointment and hurt?

Was it after, was it before ?
Was it no reason just sort of sorry about?

Or was it words nobody said ???
Or is it mainly ...

" I've seen clouds from both side now . "

Delight

---- -----
----------
----------
---- -----
----------
----------


From the Buddhist - I-ching


Delight


Delight comes through, beneficial if correct.

When one gets through, one is fulfilled; when one is fulfilled, one is delighted.
When one is fulfilled, others find satisfaction in this; when others find satisfation
int his, they too are delighted. How can joy not come through?

-------------------------------------------


Overall Judgement: The lake stands for delight. Strength in balance, flexible outside,
delight is beneficial if correct; this is how to obey heaven and respond to humanity. When people are lead to delight, the people forget their toil; when difficulty is entered into with delight, the people forget their death. The greatness of delight is how it inspires the people.

Most Wonderful ---

If I had to or could I - imagine or remember -

If I was trying to follow that light, then/now - or imagine -

A beauty or a wonder - in the smile -

or the movements - or moments

or the happiness - that is experienced - in those moments.

As if it was so big - So big that it would fill everything ....

So, I asked for too much perfection - could I regret it, then ?

Or ever feel or think that I could experience it ?

To be that happy - Unable to imagine it, but to remember it ?

So then how much gratitude would one feel after that ...

That there could be real words to express it --- but know

that there are ....

And to dare to know that the beauty and the wonder

and the brightness and that light are real.

You want to tell me if this is what love is like,

Found and not lost - lost and not found ....

Content - without fear and afraid.

Without want or desire - but to

desire and want.

Complete - unbroken - and dashed upon the rocks

The forever shore - of the unending sea.

At the very end, at the very beginning.

love

Well, there was some noble minds -
busy and diligent trying to figure out
how much love there actually is ...

And they found that :

You can buy it in stores -
in bottles and cans and boxes -
And they have it in natural form as well.

They determined that there is high
concentrations of love in water -
sometimes 99.9 % - and of course it
will get mixed into the snow -
You can find it in the street or on the beach.
You can breath it in the air - will no ill affect.
You can dig big holes or small holes and find
it in the ground.

Trees are said to contain it in large quantities
as well as rocks and stones.

You find it in the big city - and in the small town.
Then it is in star light and clouds.

It's in clothes and books - it's in vibrations of
musical instruments. It's in dances and songs
and if that wasn't bad enough - people are out
there making it all the time. And then love
lingers so that sometimes it is just as
fresh after years and years and you can
sometimes even feel love from the future.

So you can see a bit of the difficulty these noble
minds were having trying to figure out just
how much there actually is of the stuff.

And then they had a few questions -
Like, if there is so much of it - where
does it go when it disappears ? This
was a really hard question.

Their next big question was - if it
is so readily available - and there is
such a great supply - and when people
use it and have it - it makes them
feel better and it makes those that are
around them feel better - why don't
people use it more ????

These are such wonderful questions -
and so hard to find answers to.

battle of good and evil

In the big battle of good and evil - we have
good guys fighting bad guys and we assume
in the end that the good guys win because ....

Well, we just like to think that the good guys
win.

In the little battle of good and evil which is
going on constantly - it's all inside of us -
each one - and who wins??? We'd like
to think that we win - good or evil .....

So the guestion is - is it the fighting or
the winning or the good or the evil ? When
the fighting is gone where is the good and
where is the evil? How do we tell them
apart so easily? What if we never fight
is there still a good or evil? Is it just
about what we want and when we don't have
that we decide to fight and what prevents
us from getting what we want becomes evil ?
--- or is it -- Sketches of China --

" It ain't want you want - it's want you need. "


I guess .... I surely don't know ...

grief in my joy

Was motion in my stillness,

Some wetness in my eyes ...

What colors are revealed then ...

Now .

wind & the water

And the wind laughed ....

The water called out -

" please, come to me, make the waves .. "

he pleaded ....

And the wind laughed back ....

She said, " why are you so silly ?? "

" because, you think you only need me ???

and you are so jealous of the trees and their

leaves as I rustle them, and you think I have

forgotten all about you, don't you ....

You think all I need to do is make your silly waves ----

You forget so much - You forget that the moon touches

you still and you forget that I need you, too ...

I need your moisture to make the clouds that I

love to float and play with ... And I do love the sound

which the waves make, too. You think that you

are so alone ... and you don't see that I am always with

you, just as you are with me ???? But why do you

prefer me to the earth or the heavens or the stars ??? "

The water lay still, the winds thoughts filled him with

awe - and it was true that the water loved the wind and

felt incomplete --- yet it was true as she had spoken that

she was always with him. And she could make him laugh,

and she could calm his rage - or create it if she chose ...

and he felt embarrassed by his jealousy and her understanding.

" Oh, just go now , you old fool " she said ----

" Follow the old course of the river - and feel the mud ---

and the branches that I've swept away for you. You

know I forgive you - even when you are senseless -

because I can. "

So the water followed that course - he was content as she

spoke ...

heaven & the wind

wish I could be sure - heaven spoke -

and only I can hear you - said the wind ...

And they might wish - that was so long - for- ever

And the wind could hear and understand -

And heaven spoke with her ...

Like in a - day & a night -

That Atlantis would fall ?????

Because - they never can be seperated ...

And hear you ...

Moonshadow....

To behold the wandering moon,
Riding near her highest noon,
Like one that had been led astray
Through the heavens' wide pathless way



-Milton.Devil Moon, Moonshadow....

Above from Sarfatti - group - 1/17 - 317

As the moon is near,
And the light today
As well -

All things that I consider I am.

And colors - and richness - and poverty ....

And needs and wants and desires ....

And looking and seeing and feeling ....

Being happy and being sad ....

Resolute or fading ....

Looking up ---

Having remorse ...

Feeling alone & and feeling together ...

Experiencing joy, then bliss ...

Awakening and sleeping ...

Standing and sitting - then lying down ...

Touching and being touched ...

And counting - the stars and their movements -

The motion and movement of all thing - together -

Being locked in the ice ...

Feeling the fire - inseperable ...

Breathing the air

And feeling the wind ----

Feeling love I am .

she wanted to know

She wanted to know and I was afraid to answer.
I thought I knew the answer, in a way.

" you love it " was the question - and yes.

" but do you know what it is ? "

I quess that was the question - and what was my answer ...

Well, I guess I was thinking - it's just a bit of a theory .. sort of
a weird - transendental thought maybe . Was it weird, twisted,
or just made up on the spot - for luck or what have you.

I was thinking more about it though - the revolving / rotating
dynamics of love, sex, money, power, control.

You sure can make up a lot from that - can't you ---
Pistons grabbing the air, sheer forces, pitching and biting
at the surfaces. Grabbing the air.

Calm down.

I looked out. It was a clear day. Calmly then - what is the answer?
Wasn't it something about knowing and existing? Existing for
a reason - because of some one, for some one - or doing something for
a reason - for some one. I know, I exist, for a reason, for some one.

I looked out and I thought some more -
I could fight for it - like fighting for the air -
about I want. I want it.

" It you say --- and you say it so calmly. "

" And who has it ? "

Well, the it keeps getting passed back and forth ...

Does the buck - stop here ? You think you can pin point it?

" Not routinely. ", as I thought - " but, sometimes. "

" The buck will stop, I am sure when it's damn and
ready to. I guess that's truly all I know for sure. "

" Oh, okay then - you can get away with this crap for now" - as
if it were the 80's , " but sooner or latter , Mr. Smarty Pants
the buck will catch up to you - and I'll laugh then, just because I can,
and just because it want to. "

" Yes, " , I said " I know. "

And it all goes back again, rotating on the wheel of
sex, love, money, power, and control. Maybe it's
just good and bad.

Doesn't that make you dizzy ????
Some days yes and some days no.

It's a key. The key fits into the lock.
The lock opens - wazaam -
Somebody - shuts the lock and you
go through it all again.

Wazaam...

And if that doesn't work - well -
just sit there and try and think of a better way.

It seems then - like on most days, it all gets pushed back
to why. Because. Why? - because. Because - be why.

Mysterious. Because, I thought I knew.